Attention, Caregivers! It Really is Ok to Ask for Help
Caregiving is no ordinary task. Every caregiver who’s been on the job even just a short time would probably agree.
The job is physically and emotionally demanding. Talk about stress—caregivers seem to have it in spades!
Every day brings new challenges, and the same old routines can suddenly become difficult. As the patient’s condition changes, especially if for the worse, so do your roles, responsibilities, and demands. Those who provide care often find themselves unable to keep up, to the point of disregarding their own health and personal needs. Neglecting oneself in favor of caring for someone else is never a good thing.
The problem is, caregivers usually end up so stressed and overwhelmed that they abandon this role prematurely. As a result, they feel guilty for being unable to continue caring for their loved one, or they quit their job without giving it more careful thought.
Along the way, what likely happened is that they missed a very important part of caregiving: recognizing their need for help, and asking for support the right way, at the right time.
So, what are signs that you need help?
1. Experiencing physical symptoms such as headache, upset stomach, and inadequate or unrestful sleep
2. Being irritable, tearful, and taking it out on your patient or other people
3. Finding simple tasks too difficult and tiring
4. Getting sick and missing doctor’s appointments
5. Feeling like giving up on a sick loved one or quitting your career as a professional caregiver
If you experience any of the above, take a minute to follow these helpful tips:
1. Do not wait until you are desperate and burned out before asking for help.
Do not allow yourself to be a situation where you reach a point of no return or you lose control, forcing you to stop caregiving altogether.
2. If you are a family caregiver, be bold and divide tasks among other family members.
Then consider the most important part of this tip: don't be a control freak. Don’t lose your cool when scheduled help from a family member doesn’t happen or if things don't measure up to your expectations.
If relatives are always unavailable, you may ask for financial help instead, which could enable you to take advantage of paid services for your loved one.
3. If you are a professional caregiver, seek the assistance of family members and the patient themselves.
Asking for the patient’s help, as well as the family, is something that most caregivers are embarrassed to do. They think that the reason they were hired is to do everything for their patient. But this is not so. Caregiving is a team effort.
To encourage the family to participate in the care of their loved one, mention how their effort contributes to the patient’s wellbeing. Say something like, “Your mom looks so happy when you comb her hair. It might be a good idea to spend a few minutes every morning helping groom her.”
Ask the patient to be more independent as long as they are safe. If they need assistance with bathing, have them sit in a chair in the shower and ask them to wash on their own. You can tidy supplies in the bathroom while you wait for them to finish.
4. Check the availability of community resources.
Looking for community resources can be a hassle at first, but in the long run, routines can be reestablished, with the necessary support coming from agencies and other organizations.
5. Talk to people you trust if you are a family caregiver. For professional caregivers, talk to your supervisor or colleagues.
Find ways to work as a team and then ask for your family’s support. Sometimes, all it takes to get back on track is having someone who will listen and appreciate all your efforts.
6. Seek respite care and take a break or leave.
Respite care is hiring someone to relieve you temporarily of your caregiving responsibilities. Yes, this kind of help is absolutely fine! Take this opportunity to rest, socialize, and recharge.
7. Be positive that there's always a way to do things without giving in to burnout.
It's just a matter of acting on it before it’s too late!
As the saying goes, you cannot love another unless you love yourself first. In caring, this is also true. So when the going gets tough for you in caregiving, do not hesitate to get support from others. Know when to ask for help and act on it, for it is by getting the help that you need and staying true to your calling that you will realize, caregiving is beautiful.
