Tips for Surviving the Holidays
Being a caregiver is stressful enough. Then come the holidays…how can you manage to get everything done and still have energy to enjoy the celebrations?
Get a cup of coffee and take a few minutes to learn from “seasoned” caregivers who are happy to share their secrets of not just surviving the holidays, but making happy memories:
1. Keep It Simple! Remember, the holidays are about being with those you love, not winning the Martha Stewart Gingerbread House Competition. Your caregiver role doesn’t get pushed aside, so focus on the details that are meaningful. Maybe a few special decorations or foods, but no big banquets. Keep gift giving to a minimum. When traditions are simplified, everyone can relax and enjoy being together.
2. Know Your Limits! This is not your first holiday season. By now, you know what you love and what makes you crazy. Does the neighborhood New Year’s Eve party just seem over the top? Are there relatives you should avoid? Do you really need to make twelve kinds of cookies? On the other hand, do you look forward to making a special ornament with a grandchild? Or handing out candy canes to carolers? Stick to what makes you happy, not what others expect.
3. Don’t Expect Perfection! Now is not the time to pursue the ideal holiday. (It never happens, anyway.) Choose your favorite rituals and do the best you can. Laugh at your efforts. Your “Charlie Brown” Christmas tree may become part of family lore. Feel free to pay for things you’re not able to accomplish: baking, dinners, housekeeping. Consider sending cards in January, when you have time.
4. Include Your Loved One! Whether you are a paid or unpaid caregiver, include the patient. Depending on his or her strength and abilities, find activities or outings that allow for participation. Plan activities around the patient’s “best” time of day. Decorate his or her space. Remember to be safe: no trailing extension cords or extra clutter that might cause a fall or injury.
Michael Plontz, of the Caregiver Alliance at Central Boston Elderly Services, offers some questions to help you determine what is most important this season. For any activity or tradition, ask yourself:
• Would the holidays be the same without it?
• Is it something that could be done differently?
• Do you do it out of tradition, free choice, or obligation?
• Can someone else do it?
• Do you like doing it?
We all want a happy and memorable holiday, for ourselves and for those we love. Take care of yourself, pace activities, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. People are generous this time of year and ready to assist. With some good thought and planning, everyone will enjoy the holiday season!
