Are Your Parents Keeping Secrets?
Your elderly parent is still living in her own home and caring for herself. You’re happy that she remains independent and fairly active. During your phone calls and visits, you talk about the normal things – what did she do today, what did she have for lunch, or did her friend come to see her yesterday? You probably never thought that your parent may not be telling the whole truth or may be keeping secrets from you.
As our parents age, they may need more help, but don’t want to ask because they are afraid of losing their independence or possibly having to live in a nursing home. It’s important to be aware of issues that your parents may not be telling you.
Here are a few secrets that your parents may be keeping.
1. Alcohol abuse or over medication - It’s not uncommon for the elderly to become depressed because of health issues, loss of friends and loved ones, or feeling isolated. To combat those feelings, they may abuse alcohol or over medicate.
2. Money shortage – There are several things that could cause your parent to constantly have a shortage of money. Boredom is a reason for many elderly to hit the casino where they can be around other people. Unfortunately, they can lose a lot of money in a short amount of time. If your parent doesn’t drive, online shopping can become a bad habit and cause a major money shortage.
3. Falls – Dizziness, throw rugs, and pets are just a few reasons that may cause your parent to trip and fall in their home. Unexplained bruising and cuts may indicate that your parent has fallen but is keeping that information from you.
4. Driving violations – being able to drive a car gives a true sense of freedom and independence. Your parent wants to go to the grocery or library at their convenience and doesn’t want to admit that they’re not fit to drive. Their vision and coordination could be an issue that may cause an accident.
5. Pain and health issues – Your parent may be experiencing pain or have health issues that they haven’t shared because they don’t want to worry you and may be afraid of having to leave their home and enter a care facility.
It may be tough to have a conversation with your parent about any of the five issues mentioned, but approach the subject gently - maybe share an article that you found in a newspaper or magazine to get the conversation started. Your parent may be relieved that you’re willing to talk about the problem and help them deal with what they may be experiencing.
While visiting, take a moment to look in the fridge and cupboards to see if there’s enough food. A low food supply could indicate increased spending on unnecessary items.
Look carefully for any cuts or bruising on your parent. This could be an indication of a recent fall. Falls are the leading cause of death and non-fatal injuries in the elderly. You can help by making sure that walkways are clear and throw rugs aren’t a tripping hazard. Also, make sure that your parent is having their eyesight examined at least once a year.
If you don’t live near your parent and can’t visit, finding a reliable neighbor or home health service to check in on your loved one regularly is a good way to keep you informed of any changes in behavior or health that may arise.
Being alert and asking questions can help us keep our parents safe and possibly avoid a dangerous health or safety issue.
